Old Man Cotton
| Age | 15 |
| Status | Missing |
| Related to | None identified |
| Last Incident | The Great Laundry Storm |
Old Man Cotton was the eldest sock in the household at fifteen years of continuous service and the last surviving witness to the Static Electricity Riots of 1993.
He served as the informal historian of the laundry basket and is the sole source of Captain Woolington's recorded final words.
Personal Account
Old Man Cotton arrived in the household in 1984 and had outlasted four complete sets of socks, three drawer reorganisations, and two separate attempts to retire him.
He was considered meticulous, reliable, and constitutionally incapable of exaggeration — which is why his testimony carries unusual weight.
On the night of March 14, Old Man Cotton positioned himself near the centre of the drum, from where he had the clearest view of the vortex's development.
He later described the sequence of disappearances with forensic precision in a 43-minute oral account delivered to DTAB investigators on March 18, 1999.
Final Testimony
Old Man Cotton's account is the single most referenced document in the DTAB Final Report.
He estimated the vortex duration at 73 seconds — a figure later corroborated by the dryer's mechanical cycle log.
He declined to speak further on the subject after his March 18th account. He returned to the basket and resumed normal use.
He went missing during a follow-up wash cycle in April 1999, six weeks after the storm.
Legacy
He declined to speak further on the subject after his March 18th account. He returned to the basket and resumed normal use.
He went missing during a follow-up wash cycle in April 1999, six weeks after the storm.